Thursday, 3 March 2016

Writing

W.A.L.T to retell the story
Description 
We had to work in our whanou groups and we had to retell the story of okatia 
Targets 
Green because you did  a long story and you put a lot of detail in it. By Memphis.
I Give me in between green and yellow because i think we could of done more writing
Beginning 
A long long time ago before humans walked the land, there was a spirit and his name was Okātia. He became part of the tōtara tree. This tōtara tree was bigger and stronger than any other tree in the Puketoi forest. He thought that he was the best, the biggest thing in the world because he looked down at everything. His branches reached into the sky. As he towered over his neighbors he heard about Moana the gigantic, ginormous sea. When he could wait no longer he pulled and pulled until his roots came up. He fell on his side and started to roll through the forest, collecting dirt, stones and small ferns. As he was tumbling down the hill destroying Tanes beautiful forest, he made Tane annoyed with him.
Middle 
Okātia destroyed everything in his path. He took a breath and looked around.  Immediately he knew he was near the towering hills. A  gigantic rocky wall was right in Okātia’s way. He was still dizzy from rolling over hills and rocks. He hit the wall with his trunk, he did it multiple times but the wall didn't budge. He did it again but nothing happened. But on the third try he crashed the rocky wall with all his might. It started to crack shaking the ground like a earthquake. Almost frighten to death, he slipped falling through the crack and used all of his might to pull himself up.  

End
Okatia came out of the rocky gorge and rolled onto Foxton beach. He was so tired. His branches snapped off. Now he looked like a new growing tree. He didn't look mighty or muscular anymore. Okatia crashed and smashed  into the sea.  The water tasted like nothing he had ever tasted before. He thought that must have been the sea. It tasted like sour and rotten plums. The waves crashed over him immediately and tore his branches off. The ocean carried him far far away and no one ever found him again. 

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